Revelation: Or How to Lose Your Religion in 541 Steps is part of my new mission, my anti-mission—to right some of my wrongs I inflicted when I thought I was spiritually superior to the Buddhist monks I taught at a temple in Northern Thailand. For the gay boy who opened up to me in high school and I told him I’d pray for him—to be straight. My mission is to offer some relief and solidarity to the many people who are walking away from their faith and being shunned, losing hope, and even becoming suicidal. This book, told like the virgin-birthed baby of Jenny Lawson and Caitlin Moran, won’t just be a fun behind-the-curtain look at why evangelicals think and act as they do. I hope it will be a salve, offering support to the growing multitude who are waking up from a very comforting but fantastical dream.

At nine years old I stood waist-high in my church’s baptismal, making the biggest decision of my life. When my evangelical Southern Baptist pastor put his hand on my head to pray for me, I didn’t hear a word. I was too focused on if my bee-sting boobs would show through the see-through robe I had to wear.

I attended a Southern Baptist church, grade school and college, volunteered for Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and eventually became a foreign missionary traveling to Haiti, Jamaica, Dominican Republic, India and Thailand. I prayed for God to miraculously heal babies with tuberculosis in Haiti and taught English to young monks at a Buddhist temple in Thailand. I’ve had the “demon of intellectualism” cast out of me and I can still speak in tongues if I try. So can you.

My memoir Revelation takes the reader through the quirky and profound world of growing up evangelical, becoming a missionary overseas, and–wanting to deepen my faith even more–studying myself right out the ass end of Christianity.